LJ Idol LPF Week 2

[encrefloue]

Topic: "My Mount Rushmore"


David

It’s right now and it’s ending.

It’s right now and it’s long gone.

Where are were they?

The honeybee:

tucked innocuously

behind an earlobe,

thrumming joyously

against my tongue.

The heart:

worn audaciously

below the sleeve,

sewn between

the thumb and forefinger,

jolting smoothly

beneath my chin.

Socrates:

etched overtly

across the canyon

of the back,

the words absorbing

in reverse

through my fingertips

which traverse

mindlessly

sense-fully

through the ravine of the scapulae,

down the dale of the spine

to the foothills and crests beyond.

The fruit:

plucked ripely

along the hipbone.

Pride:

shown bravely

upon the breast.

O Ganymede,

let these be

the points in your constellation.

Let them blaze as brightly

upon my stricken eyes

as you once did,

that I may

forever return

to your celestial body.

O Hyacinth,

scarce have I invoked

your name,

your image,

your memory,

for fear

that the jealous zephyr of time

would blow

your fading petals

from my clutching fists.

O my Achilles,

would you scorn

your loyal Patroclus?

O my Sleeping Faun,

my Dying Slave,

did do you

fear me

to be

the eagle

come

in a storm

of brutish thunder

and cloying feathers

to bear you

too soon

to the heavens,

too far aloft

from mortal pleasures?

Who was am I, then?

If nothing else,

if no one else,

I can be

Pygmalion,

crumbling

my mind

my heart

to dust,

soaking

my tears

my seed

therein,

and with the resulting clay,

and with the resounding void,

I will bend the malleable folds of time,

I will mold the fallible curves of memory,

I will forge the terrible arms of need

to chisel myself away

into a moment
of us,
unending.

O Adonis,

erode.

O Narcissus,

look up from the waters

and see me.

Comments

[static_abyss]

I love the imagery you created in this piece.

[sonreir]

I really enjoyed this. Great imagery and allusions.

[jenwithapen]

HUH! I'm not at all sure what to make of this one, but it has some really interesting imagery for sure!

The honeybee:

tucked innocuously

behind an earlobe,

thrumming joyously

against my tongue.

I feel like I can almost put my finger on this... -smiling- But then, my common answer seems too common for the simple reality of it all. =D

[kehlen.livejournal.com]

Fabulous.

[the_eternal_overthinker]

Wow! Nicely done. Kudos!

[bleodswean]

THIS is AMAZING! Simply fantastic imagery and weaving of words.

[fausts_dream]

Probably the best poem in competition so far.

[rayaso]

Great imagery. I also loved the honeybee lines.

[bewize]

I loved this bit:

O my Sleeping Faun,

my Dying Slave,


did do you

fear me

to be

the eagle

come

in a storm

of brutish thunder

and cloying feathers

to bear you

too soon

to the heavens,

too far aloft

from mortal pleasures?

[song_of_thea]

This is both lovely and sensual.

[flipflop_diva]

The imagery in this is amazing! And the way it's written is quite beautiful too.

[halfshellvenus]

Oh, boy, I loved this so much.

For the lost love-- why, always why> -- and the classical images and allegory within.

The entire stanza about the eagle, and the section with malleable folds and molding the falliable curves... guh. Love it.

More poetry from you is always appreciated-- you go deeper than in your songs, and you really have a gift for it.

[murielle]

You absolutely blow me away with your art! This is beyond beautiful. Sublime.

"...my fingertips

which traverse

mindlessly

sense-fully..."

So many gorgeous words and phrases, but this simple little truth lodged in my heart.

Amazing!